A Hollywood Experience!

Saturday 6 March

To wake or not to wake – that was the question today. After a huge day yesterday and being in a different time zone I was in denial about having to open my eyes and do another day. Knowing it needed to be done though I dragged myself out of bed at 9:00am. I think we both had a good night sleep. It was kind of strange actually because it was the first time that Martin and I have been in the same bed for weeks. It is a little awkward at first as I am conscious of moving too much and waking him up. Sleep seems to be such a precious event for him that I hate the thought of being the one to destroy it!! I open my eyes to find I am alone in the room. Martin is upstairs with Dale & Bruce. He has eaten breakfast and actually engaging in a conversation. He must have slept well!! It was a nice way to start our first morning on the other side of the world.
Today we are being shown the obvious tourist attractions. I am going to have my own pretty woman moment – except for the whole prostitution thing! It is a strange thing to be going to places you have heard about, seen in movies, wondered what it would be like, and then to actually be there and not be able to fully enjoy it because the circumstances surrounding it couldn’t be worse. We are not here for a holiday. We have not come to see the sights. Yet here were are both wishing we could enjoy the moment more, knowing we will probably never get another chance!

LA is not like I had seen it in my minds eye. I had always pictured a landscape of tall buildings, dense housing and opulence interspersed with poverty. In actual fact it is a fairly flat sea of concrete with the occasional glimpse of ocean or hill to soften the concrete ocean. Highrise buildings are not that great or magnificence – in fact I would think that Brisbane city would look more dense from an aerial photo than Downtown LA. The difference is there are probably 4 different ‘city centres’.

Driving is a whole new experience. I am only a passenger and that is enough! I feel like I am on the Jet Ski ride at Seaworld. You either hold on tight and hold your breath, or you just refuse to look out the window, look down at your lap and pretend you are anywhere but driving down the wrong side of the road with cars pulling in and out of everyone!

I have always imagined that one side of LA was the side to avoid, and the other side was the picturesque side of winding hills and wealth. I was mistaken! You can be driving down the Highway and the only thing that seems consistent is the frequency of a Macy’s or a JC Penny store. On either side there are massive oil rigs – did anyone know there were oil rigs in the middle of LA? They are right on the side of the main road into Downtown LA. They back on to peoples homes and are mainly privately owned. It doesn’t seem to matter that anyone who is unfortunate enough to have a house back onto one of these rigs are at a very high increase risk of cancer!

Two minutes past the oil rigs I see a Rodeo sign. Surely we are not near Beverly Hills already. The only time I have seen oil and Beverly Hills this closely associated is on the Beverly Hill Billies!! It wasn’t THE Rodeo drive but we were only 2 minutes away from it. The scenery quickly changes from oil rigs and cement to Louis Vuitton and Versace. I have placed the soles of my $20 shoes on holy fashion ground! I feel like Julia Roberts, minus the bags of shopping... but just for the sake of role play I hold my hands up and say “remember me? Big mistake – huge! Well I have to go shopping now!” The street is pretty, and I wish for half a second that we were simply here on holiday and I could walk and savour the taste of the rich and famous. But I am brought back to reality very quickly at the sight of Martin struggling to place one foot in front of the other.

Next stop Hollywood, via a street or two of Beverly Hills. The houses are grand, but I would not say they were alluring. Pick them up and place them anywhere else and I am sure they would lose their sense of wonderment. As we approach Hollywood we remember that tomorrow is Oscars Night! Wow what timing to have a trip to Hollywood! Through the rain and heavy clouds I can faintly see the infamous Hollywood sign sitting high on the hills. Cars are everywhere. It seems every American has a close relationship with their car horn. Cars, people and shops!

I am not sure what I think of Hollywood... apart from the famous icons and the mental association of where you are standing, Hollywood could be anywhere in the world. The shops are not too dissimilar to things you would see at home. It wasn’t until I needed batteries that I become aware with the lack of basic need stores. Oscar and I got up close and personal – well as much as the security guards were letting anyone get to him. The Oscars setting is actually very unglamours! After walking up to the Kodak Theatre – I wanted to show my kids where American Idol is held – we walk back down to the place where the handprints are housed on the sidewalk. There I was innocently adoring Shirley Temple’s tiny little hand prints when I looked up to find Martin - I couldn’t see him. Ok I know he can’t be far because he just can’t walk that quickly! I am standing looking for a familiar face amongst the crowd and occasional psycho. The next thing a hand grabs me and I turn around to be face to face with Elvis! True to playing his character he must have had a recent drink – perhaps it helps with this slur “hey there pretty lady” – oh gag he stinks and he is way too close to my personal comfort zone! I am desperately scanning the horizon for Martin – how could he leave me with Elvis?! The next thing Elvis has my camera and is thrusting it into the hands of an innocent passerby telling him to take our photo. He has grabbed my leg and wrapped it around his waist. To make the picture complete he calls over his friend Elmo! I now have Elvis chest hair in one ear and Elmo’s beard in the other! OMG – please hurry up and take the photo! I cannot breath through the stench of stale alcohol breath, musty faux hair and a grease ball holding my thigh to his waist! The photo is done and I finally see Martin’s face! I go to make my move and bolt to him but Elvis stops me again – now he expects me to PAY for the horrendous experience!! I only have a $5 note and I really do not think the experience warrants that amount of money, but I am desperate to run so I give him my note. He tells me to pay Elmo as well! Is this man serious!! I draw the line at parting with 2 $5 notes so I tell him to share his money with Elmo! Emily rescues me and goes and verbally slaps Elvis around and demands that he give me back my change. Little did I know that you only ever pay them $1 each!

Well we have eaten a hearty American meal, walked along Hollywood Boulevard, been mobbed by an Elvis impersonator. Our time here is done!!

The experience is very much like a movie - full of tricks and facades! Nothing is as it seems and nothing is as magical when you see it on set – only when you see it on the big screen!

The day ended nicely. We had a relaxed dinner with our friends, sat around the fire place warming both toes and souls! Tomorrow is our departure to regions beyond.

Jesus is waiting for us in Mexico. I am stepping out of the boat in faith. We will either walk on water or be rescued out of the storm by the hands of God – either way Jesus waits!