Thursday 14 January

Another slow start to our day. Early nights to not necessarily mean good sleeps! I wake early when I hear Martin getting ready to wake up. This morning I decide to stay in bed and try and get back to sleep. Some people count sheep to help them relax, well for me my new thing is to count the sound of Martin banging apricot kernels on my kitchen bench. Since seeing the doctor on Tuesday he is even more intent on overriding medical opinion and doing what he feels God has prompted him to do. So he makes apricot kernel milkshakes in the morning. These consist of a glass of milk, 20 kernels and some maple syrup. He assures me that they taste yummy and I am happy to take his word for it! So I lay in bed and I count... BANG = 1.... BANG = 2.... I think I get to 5 before the comforting sound lulls me back into sleep!

There is such mixed reactions from people about him consuming high quantities of apricot kernels. Some people strongly believe that they are poisonous. As for me, I swing, but now I figure what else is there to do? Medical science can say 'don't eat them they are bad for you' and then complete the sentence with 'I'm sorry there's nothing we can do to help you'. So 20 a day it is!!

For the negative effect apricots are meant to be having on Martin he is doing amazingly well!! Considering that on Tuesday I thought he would be back in hospital, tonight he is brighter, has colour in his face and more amazingly has energy!!

We have been invited to have a swim and BBQ with Peter and Marianne tonight. It is lovely to catch up with them again and have some good conversation - and talk about things other than Martin's health. I have decided that the key to getting through this is to be surrounded by moments that help me get my eyes of circumstance and to enjoy the here and now. Laughter, friendships, family all woven together by the grace of God!!

I have had a lovely evening. As I close my eyes in bed I see Martin throwing the kids in the pool. I remember my daddy doing it to me when I was the same age as Charlotte. Eyes closed I hear the laughter resounding in my head. Despite what happens I know our lives are richer and happier because of the man that sleeps next to me! For that I am eternally grateful!!