Home is calling!!

Thursday 18 March

Oh what a sleep!! I think it was the first night that I had a relatively normal sleep! I have however woken up a little heavy in the head – I think my body is in shock from sleeping. Martin ended up getting a sleeping pill from the nurse and he too has had a good sleep. What a difference that has made! He is up, looking a lot better, but more importantly he is in a good frame of mind!!

We head down to breakfast and decide to go for a walk together. Yesterday on my walk to the shop I found something I wanted to get for the girls, but I wasn’t able to pay for it. This morning Martin is feeling keen enough to walk the distance so I can go and buy it. It is cold again today! Like really cold!! It is strange because yesterday was so hot!!

We arrive back at the hospital and Martin begins his treatments. He seems to be going along well with them – better than he has done. While he is being treated, I am organising everything that needs to be done before we depart. I have to finalise all the medications that we need to take home. I must confess I am somewhat nervous about how I am going to get it all back into the country but I am assured that it will all be alright!! I guess the worst that can happen is it’s not alright and they take it off me! I am hoping and praying that God will let it all go through!!

I have a spring in my steps today. I think it is a combination of a fun night last night and the thought that we are almost going home!! If I spend too much time thinking about what going home means I get a little knot in my stomach, but if I just focus on it meaning I get to see my kids, family and friends, then I am excited!!

The day was progressing nicely until the afternoon set in. Martin needed to have his tummy drained for fluid one last time before they removed the catheter. As the drain began, the more the fluid filled up the more I could feel Martin’s hope drain.

There was no recovery from the hope drain event. The evening was quiet and isolating again between the two of us. I know he is scared about leaving. I know he is despondent about how he is feeling. I know the future is overwhelming for him. I just don’t know how to help him any more!!

After dinner and after I have done our packing, our little group gather around the lounge again for some more fun and laughter!! As I sit there I wonder why we didn’t do this sooner! It has been wonderful and as I look around I feel very sad that this is our last night together. Who knows what the future holds. We are all here for the same tragic reason – to save a life of a loved one or our self. We hope, believe and pray that the outcomes are what we want them to be, but none of us have guarantees!

The night is late and I literally crawl into bed. Martin is sleeping soundly and I hope he remains like that!!