Fast Forward...

It has been a while since I have written. Call it "Bloggers Block" or perhaps instead you could picture a little tug boat pulling a large ocean liner in the midst of a storm. That little tug boat is me and try as much as I might to sit down and indulge in the art of blogging the waves of the storm seem to drown my creativity!!

I promise to fill in the gaps of the past month as I can, but for now let me give a brief update on where things are up to in the Cable Chaos!!

Each day seems to remind me of the morning when you wake up knowing that the yearly dentist appointment has arrived again. You enter into the room, sit on the chair and open wide - not knowing whether it's going to be a good moment or a bad one!! That is how our days start. Like the little girl with the curl right in the middle of her forehead - when she was good she was very very good, but when she was bad she was horrid!! I can honestly say that over the past 2 weeks the days have been uncertain and uncomfortable! 2 weeks ago today something in Martin's body changed. Prior to that we were going along fairly comfortably, knowing that we were facing cancer, eating apricots (which I can no longer stand the sight of) and preparing ourselves for some form of treatment. Then things changed. I will endeavour to go back to the exact account, but for now let me just say that Martin has been very sick. For a week we were both concerned about how he was going to pull together. The past 2 weeks have consisted of prayer, vomiting, prayer, a swelling belly, prayer, more vomiting, prayer and a total inability to sleep restfully!

If you have ever wondered what it would be like for a man to experience pregnancy, well I think I am living with the first pregnant male! He has had the joys of experience 24 hour 'morning sickness' - even with the joy of smells affecting him! His belly is growing and judging by the shape of it, I think we are expecting a boy!! I am sure that his waters are due to break pretty soon as I doubt very much that there is any more room for growing!! And lastly, what ever heavily pregnant woman experiences, insomnia and the inability to get into a position that brings any comfort. My heart goes out to him and I just wish there was something I can do!! At least with my 4 pregnancies I knew there was a due date and with that an end!!

While I can track and find a funnier side to seeing my husband experience 'pregnancy' I am more than aware of the seriousness that the changes in his body have caused. He has lost 5kg during this time and I am sure there is at least 5 extra kg in his abdominal cavity!! His attempt at being 'gangster' is improving as his pants continue to fall down to sit below his bottom! The swelling of his tummy is caused by 'ascites' - fluid that is created usually from the tumour site - and the body is unable to deal with the quantity and so it stores up. From the research I have done and the little bits of doctor information I have gleaned this is a bad sign!! While I have had days where I have been assailed by helplessness and fear, I know still that Martin is ok, and that each day he defies doctors by getting better instead of worse. Healing does not have to be instant, although at these sorts of times I am sure we would all like it to be, but healing can be progressive. We rest in God and his promises. We take comfort in the family He has brought us. We are touched by the kindness and generosity of friends - both old and new!

For people that have given us money, cooked us meals, offered to help with kids words alone cannot express our gratitude!!

We have booked our tickets to America and are set to fly out on 5 March. Some people have expressed scepticism at our decision to go abroad and try something 'unconventional'. Let me ask you the question - what would you do? If doctors in Australia were almost asking you for your measurement's in order to manufacture your coffin - what would you do? We have been given lifeline deadlines - 2 months, 3 months, 6 months. No one has promised recovery, healing or remission. What would you do? We have done our research. Martin has been researching this for years. Success rate has proven evidence to be higher for the 'unconventional' treatment we have chosen. God has promised to provide. Furthermore, doctors have to admit that Martin has HAD stomach cancer - it is GONE! If apricot kernels are dangerous, or if they do nothing, how did the primary site of Martin's cancer disappear?? So let me ask again - what would you do?

We are doing what we feel is the best solution - and I think something that everyone would be willing to risk!! I will follow my husband to the ends of the earth if I felt like it would mean we can nurse our grandchildren together!

So the little tug boat I am turning out to be, is bravely pulling my usually strong husband along. He is a little broken right now, and while the storms are battering both of us I know that the rope holding us together is Jesus and a threefold chord is not easily broken!! We are chugging slowly to Mexico and feel confident that the waves will get smaller once we are there!!

So again, thank you - for prayers, meals, financial support and your kindness. You may never know fully how much we have valued it, but I believe you will be rewarded by playing a part in all that God is doing in Martin's life.